Distributing Chores to Kids – A quick guide for parents
We often struggle to make the kids aware of their responsibilities. They may be difficult to teach at times, but it is not true always. The amazing facts about kids are that they too are cooperative and understanding in their own way, provided we too understand them as well. It is not always necessary that kids do tasks as per our directions. But even if done by the kids their way, distributing chores to kids is a must and should be encouraged by parents.
Most often, they can go wrong or tend to choose another way to do a specific task. They may succeed or may not. But, accepting and appreciating that the kid is applying it’s own mind goes a long way in nurturing the child. In fact, appreciating the children for their wit to do a task differently is also a great way of showing your affection.
Appreciate your kids every now and then
The big factor is letting the child know that he or she is being appreciated. This goes a long way in boosting the self-confidence of the kid. Thus, nurturing your child’s will to learn is the key to your child’s mental setup in the future.
Now, before distributing chores to kids, we need to see the capability, age, physical health, mental framework, etc., of the child. We cannot just give absolutely any task to kids randomly like that. The kid needs to be understood well before being involved in any task or chores at home.
Understood, because the kid in question may be your own or your brother’s or sister’s or someone else’s, for that matter. That is why you need to know everything about the kids before you assign them any chores at home. In fact, you need to know whether the kid has been doing this sort of task before also or not.
Follow a pattern and give time to the kid after distributing chores to kids
It should not happen that you suddenly surprise the child with a task that he or she is not acquainted with. Hence, there is a proper mechanism to be followed while distributing chores to kids at home.
Suppose, a small child is being told to water the plants in the pots. Here, we may assume that this task is very simple and the kid can do it very easily.
But what if the kid has never done this job? Obviously, the kid will feel nervous and may make mistakes. The kid may pour more water into the pot or may not handle the water pressure from the watering pipe. He or she may accidentally splash the water everywhere.
And especially when the kid is not your own, it may feel more nervous for the presumed punishment to follow. Therefore, this makes the entire exercise of allotting tasks to the kid futile and a terrible experience for the kid.
But, suppose the same kid is quite good at counting, howsoever small numbers they may be. So, won’t it be a good idea to utilize the capability of the kid in assigning the task accordingly?
For example, you may ask the kid to count the number of cardboards ready with paintwork or you may ask to count the number of seeds that need to be sowed in the garden. Something which, the kid is good at so that your task gets easier. If you scold the child for not being able to do the task effectively, then this does not serve the purpose. You have to keep your cool and need to have patience with the kid. The little one is still growing and learning and so a little patience will pave way for the better growth of the kid.
Communicate with your kid about his progress
However, it never means that you don’t have to take the kid to the task and make it understand where it has gone wrong. In fact, politely and quite affectionately, the kid has to be told about this. For example, you can tell him or her that the task given was not very easy but he or she has done it quite beautifully. However, the same task can be done in a better way if he or she tries. Then practically showing them how to do it is a great gesture from you. In this way, the kids appreciate your acknowledgment of their work and your guidance for them to do it better.
Again, distributing home chores wrongly can lead to revolt or anger in the child. For example, if you ask your kid to sweep the entire pathway in the garden, the kid may revolt. In fact, he or she may say “you are so mean. You always punish me”. Although you may not have that intention, still the kid can get vocal and resent your move. Again, the way you carry your instructions will decide how your kid understands your intention. Being empathetic and genuine, you can in fact mold the behavior of the child accordingly.
If only the kid knows that cleaning is also important and is our duty. The kid should not think of the sweeping task as being given for punishment. So, the entire thing depends upon the approach you take towards distributing chores to kids. Again, if the child is small say seven years old, you cannot ask it to sweep. That also would look like a punishment, considering the age of the child.
Hold your kid to the task to make him a responsible person
Similarly, giving the task of vacuuming the room when the kid is studying or playing, is similar to a punishment. Having said that, if the task is appropriate for the child and is willing to do it, you have to hold them responsible. By responsible, we mean that the kid should be aware of every aspect of it. So your child should know the reason for doing it, the result expected and the guidelines to be followed.
Also, do guide them about the necessary precautions that they need to take for the completion of the task. Basically, holding kids accountable will ensure that they are aware of the importance of the job so that they do it with conviction.
Also, they need to complete the task within the given timeframe and with minimum errors. By this, they will ensure that the task is done efficiently and smoothly since only then, it will be considered a good job. Plus sometimes, the appreciation works wonders for the kids and they try to do better in the future.
At times, the gender of the kid also has to be taken into consideration
Again, at times you have to be aware of the nature of the chores which you are going to assign the kids. Here, sometimes considering the gender of the kid is also of paramount importance before distributing the chores among the kids. Suppose you have two children at home. There are two tasks that need to be completed in an hour or so. If the two tasks to be completed are decorating the hall with flowers and the other is watering the flower pots.
Suppose by any chance, you assign the former task to the boy kid and the latter one, to the girl kid. Both of them may resent as the tasks may or may not be liked by them. Of course, there is no thumb rule that decorating is only a girl’s job or that the watering of plants is a job for boys only. But, in most cases, both will prefer the reversal of roles for a change.
Hence, assigning or distributing chores to kids will certainly depend upon age, tastes, temperaments, gender, etc. So, next, we will try to see what specific jobs can be allotted or distributed to kids at different age levels.
Motivation is very important for your kids
But, before distributing chores to kids, make sure that you have motivated them enough for this. The motivation can be anything like a reward, a gift, a promise of fulfilling a long-pending request from the kid or a motivating speech telling them that learning this task will help them in the future.
For example, before asking your teenage kid to vacuum the room, make him understand the importance of cleaning in our lives and how learning vacuuming will ease his job. Or before asking him to try his hand at preparing breakfast will make him independent and self-reliant. Or before asking your little girl to paint her cupboard, tell her that painting the cupboard will make her look beautiful and everyone will appreciate her work.
You can also just announce a reward amongst kids whosoever makes their bed tonight in a tidy manner, he or she will be given a candy or chocolate. This is for reference only and you can decide what best is suitable at that moment or for that task. The aim is to keep kids involved in the task so that they do not feel that they are being punished for something or you are harsh on them.
Start early and steadily with a plan
Another aspect that has to be kept in mind is that training your kids early will be very beneficial in the long run. Of course, you don’t want your kid to be dependent on you or any other person just because he or she does not know how to do a chore. Even if the child is small, you can start with a small task and increase the intensity of the chore depending on what age of the child. Although, you must show them how to do it if the kid is doing the task for the first time as he or she may totally mess it up.
However, do not expect the kid to do the task perfectly. But it is ok. Perfection will find its way in due course of time with the passage of time. But the key is to at least involve them in one chore or the other as the best training is given at an early age only.
Having said that, make them understand that they need not worry even if they didn’t do it perfectly. They must be told that you are always there to help so that they get the confidence to do things without any hesitation or inhibition.
Type of tasks that can be distributed to kids at certain age levels:
Distributing chores to toddlers (Aged between 1- 3 years)
Even toddlers can be assigned small tasks. It makes them habitual in doing some work. Definitely, it needs to be light work that the toddler can understand and perform. This is done, so that later on when they are grown up, they won’t complain about it or don’t listen. Of course, you have to be with them and supervise them as this is a very tender age. And yes, definitely encouraging them or praising them will give them a boost. Some of the chores which can be assigned are:
- Wipe up the spilled food
- Put the toys in the bins or the storage racks
- Handover the lightweight items to elders
- Put the washed clothes in the basket
- Throw the candy or chocolate wrapper in the dustbin
- Wish every teacher, doctor or maid at home after getting a favor from them.
Distributing chores to preschoolers (Aged between 3- 5 years)
Preschoolers are in a phase of exploring the world and love to do different things. Therefore, you need to give them a little space to perform the chores. In this way, you can involve them in a task more easily. You must apply the same rules as you do in the case of toddlers. Some of the tasks which you can give them are:
- Feed the pets at home.
- Help to set the table for meals
- Water the small plants
- Wipe the sink or washbasins after brushing, washing, etc.
- Clean their rooms of trash, paper bits, etc.
- Do the light dusting and set things in the right places.
- Sort the washed clothes or laundry
- Put off the lights when exiting the room or leaving the house
Distributing chores to kids (Aged between 5- 8 years)
This age is quite delicate for the kids as they tend to learn more about the outside world at this age. They are able to differentiate between good and bad. Get a little mature and start to question things and ask questions. At this age, kids need a little space for themselves so that they can sort things by themselves. Hence, show them what and how it has to be done and pull yourself a little away from them. This allows them to work a little independently. Some of the tasks which you can give them are:
- Start to do vacuuming the house.
- Take care of the pets, their food, cleanliness, etc.
- Learn to reply to phone calls, messages, etc.
- Water the garden and flower pots.
- Start to use washing machines, toasters, etc.
- Take the pets for a walk nearby.
- Help in the kitchen by preparing meals, setting the cutlery, crockery, etc.
- Clean the washroom, sink, and floor and put the garbage in the appropriate places.
- Help in folding the washed clothes, arranging them in the cupboard, etc.
- Make their beds with more concentration.
Distributing chores to kids (Aged between 8- 10 years)
By this age, the kid is well aware of all the activities that they should learn. The kids are much more serious about doing chores and take a keen interest in finishing the task with minimum errors. Just need to allocate the task and they are on their own. Just make it more interesting and competitive if there are two or more kids. Divide the work and demand excellence from everyone. Some of the tasks which you can give them are:
- Help in preparing meals in the kitchen, with more concentration.
- Clean the dining table after the meals.
- Wash clothes in the washing machine, use a toaster, oven, etc.
- Vacuum the house with more effort and emphasis on cleanliness.
- Help in the grocery buying and sorting of them at home.
- Sort their cupboard and racks and put ironed clothes inside after folding.
- Help clean the car and the seats and put the accessories back in them.
- Take the pets for walks in the nearby park, etc.
Chores for children (Aged between 10- 12 years)
By this age, kids are already grown-up children and after some time are going to enter the teenage. With a more mature approach to things, your kids are able to solve problems by themselves. Just tell them what needs to be done and leave it to them. They will decide which task they want to do first. Make a chart of the work which needs to be done every week. Now, let your child decide which task interests him or her the most. Trust their ability and give them the freedom to do things as they like but remind them of the output that you want at the end of it. Some of the tasks which you can give them are:
- Paint and water the flower pots.
- Do the dishes after the meals.
- Toilet cleaning and sweeping the floor.
- Washing the car by themselves and its accessories.
- Preparing the meals or breakfast.
- Cleaning the dirty clothes in the washing machine.
- Do the bedding and change the bedsheets.
- Perform light carpenter work or paint a wall.
- Order the menu in a restaurant.
Chores for grown-up children (Aged between 12- 14 years)
This is the age when the kid is just about to touch the teen-age. Hence, the kids are in between being kiddish and somewhat mature. This also starts the time when they are little rebels but entirely dependent on their parents for almost on everything. Hence, you must appreciate them for any good work. However, do keep a watch on them while they are working on chores. The chores which can be asked of them are a little more complex than they did when young. Hence, guidance is important too. Some of the specific tasks which you can give them are:
- Cook the meals once every week for the family
- Work in the garden which includes watering the plants, removing weeds, working with seedlings, etc.
- Take care of their entire laundry on their own.
- Wash the car and its accessories.
- Vacuuming, sweeping and dusting the house.
- Pay the bills in restaurants or order food online.
- Clean and wash the Bathroom or toilets,
- Arrange the washed clothes and put them at the appropriate places.
The basic idea to distribute the household chores to kids is to make them self-reliant and independent. They should feel that they can do almost any job if the concerned person is not available. Parents must teach their kids all the necessary chores at an early stage. Thus, by the time kids are grown up, they are fully capable of facing the world and the challenges life throws. That is the best the parents can do for their children without being too sentimental about their kids being exposed to work.
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