Handling a baby in his development stages of childhood is the most challenging, but at the same time, a learning time period for the parents. Before we discuss the ways and means by which you can direct, control or manage your kid, we need to understand some things. Your offspring came into this world through the same process through which you and everyone have come. There is nothing that separates them from us, other than that you came into this world much before you did.
And if that is the case, then why should we think that your kid can’t learn the same way? And for that matter, apply his or her brain and progresses in life like you or even excel in that. Below, we will discuss the development stages of childhood and how to handle them in an effective way.
Understand the difference between the role of a manager and a controller
While handling small kids in their development stages of childhood, you must accept that there is a difference between being a controller and a manager. Or for that matter between a parent or a guide. Let them be what they are and do not try to force something on them. This will deprive them of the privilege that nature provides to every living being through natural and self-learning.
Of course, it is a completely new experience for your baby to be born in this world who has to pass the different development stages of childhood. In the same way, it is a new challenge to you too, being in a position as a parent. And obviously, a position which you also didn’t find yourself in, before this.
Hence, there is a very fine balance between being a controller and a manager in your child’s development stages of childhood. You don’t need to control the kids and want them to strictly follow your directions or the rules set by you
Let the kid learn from his own experiences too
The kids should learn from their own experiences, but should always find you whenever it needs you. Being raw and immature, the kid will always do things randomly and without any pattern. However, as a parent, your duty is to properly guide, suggest and be strict sometimes so that your kid learns things quickly and in the proper way in his development stages of childhood.
Remember, the kid has of course come through you, but it is never your personal property. Parents often treat the kids as if they own them and start to dictate terms to them. Being learners, they will try to do things differently and explore every aspect of them. It does not, however, give the license to parents to curb the kid’s instincts and be forceful or vocal with them.
Apparently, your job is to protect them, nurture them and provide all possible means through which they can reach their full potential. But, as parents, we start to think of them as entities that don’t have any free will. They are expected to think, study, eat or behave in their development stages of childhood, as per our terms and conditions which is never the proper way. If you are been able to build trust with the kid in these development stages of childhood itself, it will in most probability understand and agree to what you say
Your role and responsibilities as a parent in the development stages of childhood
Now we will try to delve deeper into this and see how you actually fit in the role of the parent, the responsibilities involved and the aspects which you need to know about the handling of the kids at different development stages of childhood. We shall study each category of the age level of the kid and how you have to fit yourself into each category.
Newborn Baby (0-3 months)
General Behaviour
It is a very delicate stage among the different development stages of childhood, as the baby has just entered this world from the cosy ambience of the mother’s womb. At this stage, the newborn has no idea of itself, you or the surroundings. Therefore, the utmost care and precautions have to be taken to let the body fully take its shape and adjust to external conditions. It turns its head towards the direction from where it listens to any sound. The baby will make very less eye contact with you as it is yet to develop full eyesight. However, it may detect light, shadows and movements near it while being in this.
What to expect
Mostly sleeping
At this age, The infant is mostly sleeping (almost 18 hours a day). The baby may get up frequently in an erratic manner every now and then.
Frequent cries
The baby will be crying when hungry or when in an uncomfortable position. The crying during these months can go up to three hours every day on average. However, there is no thumb rule and the crying may exceed three hours too. Therefore, you have to train yourself to get to know the reason for the crying.
Needs breaks frequently
After a great session of interacting with the baby, the baby may feel the need to take a break and may turn its head away from you. Normally, the baby enjoys attention and interaction with its parents. But, it is also normal to turn its head away from you. It does so if it needs a break or if it is tired in one particular direction. However, this is just normal and perfectly acceptable.
How to handle
Cuddling and hugging are a must
Firstly, you need to be patient as the crying baby tends to make some parents nervous and irritated. You need to take the baby in your arms frequently, as it is one of the first things to make the baby calm. Cuddling and hugging have a huge impact on the baby and in pacifying its anxiety. Especially if you are a mother, you need to take the child in your lap quite frequently. This is very much required while you are handling small kids.
Cooperation and coordination are required from the parents
Fathers too, have to chip in, whenever the baby is ok with it. At this stage, the mother has to bear the tough times as her sleep, rest and household chores take a beating. So, the parents have to coordinate with each other during this challenging time.
Just soothe the baby by humming
Regarding the crying of the baby, just cuddle it and try to soothe it by swinging it in your arms. You can also make soft sounds of hum a little and since the baby recognizes your voice, it will get smoothened by this.
Patting and kissing
You can turn the baby on one side and apt gently, which also has a calming effect on the baby. A little caressing can do wonders to relieve the baby of its anxiety.
Baby Kid (03-12 months)
General Behaviour
This is the time when the baby is coming to terms with the surroundings around it and starts to recognize the close people, especially the mother. The baby develops a special bond with the mother, with whom it spends most of the time. It is also able to respond to the actions of the mother or the person who spends most of the time with the baby. The baby develops a knack for recognizing the people while passing through one of these delicate development stages of childhood who are close to it and hence doesn’t expect to see any other face or voice from any stranger.
The emergence of affection and fear start to take shape during this period simultaneously. However, it is completely normal as it is a sign of the baby developing traits that are present in every human being. The baby becomes sensitive to what you do, be it patting, hugging, smiling or humming any song. It is the time when the baby is associating itself more with the mother.
What to expect
Baby starts to move hands and legs
The baby starts to explore its body and tries to make use of its hands and legs. Therefore, while handling small kids, you have to remember that it needs to be taken care of.
Voice recognition and reciprocation
It will start to recognize the voices and the tones often heard by it and start to reciprocate them. It smiles, waves or claps its hands or starts to move its legs on being happy by hearing something familiar.
Strangers are mostly not welcome
However, the presence of any stranger may sound like a danger to the baby, which will respond to it in a negative way. It may cry, turn away or make faces on hearing some strange voice or seeing some strange face.
Fear of bathing
It may also develop a fear of bathing which will come from water with which it is subjected to make contact. The feeling of getting wet is somewhat difficult to understand by the baby and thus is not comfortable with it.
Personality development
The baby develops its own personality and starts to resist anything that it does not like. It expresses itself more than before.
Becomes demanding
The demand for any toy or food can turn into crying profusely if it does not get it.
Gradually tries to walk
The baby likes to sit and ultimately tries to walk toward the closer part of its 1st birthday which is the most crucial part and development stages of childhood.
How to handle
Switch to semi-solid food
Start to give semi-liquid food and solids later on to the baby.
Respond to the demands as per the merit
The baby can be very adamant towards something unjustified but you should respond as per the merit of the demand. Try to fulfil the demand when your baby longs for any hug or asks itself to be taken into arms by stretching its hands. The baby knows that it can demand anything from you since you are the closest to it.
Reciprocate to the needs of the baby
As a parent, you have to reciprocate and it may be tiring at times. Since this stage is sensitive and the baby is yet to develop enough strength. After some time, help it to change sides, crawl or take it out in a pram.
Set the limitation for the kid
Just set the limits or boundaries for the baby so that it understands that every demand that it makes, is not going to be fulfilled. But, this has to be done in a very polite way as it may have a psychological effect on the baby when it is denied what it asks.
Divert the attention of the kid
Just try to divert the attention of the bay towards some other thing, whenever the demand for a particular object gets too vocal. This will make the baby realize that it is still being loved even though the demand is not met. In short, you have to support, love and protect your baby and try to make it comfortable with strangers and the surroundings. They respond to these more positively when they themselves feel comfortable and that too in your presence.
Toddler Kid (01-03 years)
General Behaviour
The baby is fully aware of the surroundings by now and recognizes its family and the people who often visit the home. But, it is also a very crucial period for the child as most of the brain development starts to take place at this time. It is a tough time for parents too as toddlers can become very demanding or are difficult to control while going through the development stages of childhood.
This is because you can’t shout or yell at the kid for any strange demand or behaviour as your kid is itself coming to terms with the surroundings. It has just started to explore the world independently, even without the mother too and so will ask questions. The kid mostly likes to play and explore each corner of the house. It starts to look at the world from its own perspective in the later part of this stage. However, it is still dependent on the parents and especially on the mother for its activities.
What to expect
Attention seeker kid
The kid sometimes becomes the attention seeker and knows how to manipulate mothers for just anything, by crying or nagging. It knows that the parent will succumb to its demand (if you are somewhat submissive to the child and get emotional).
Fear of strangers is still present
The fear of strangers is still there, though somewhat subsided to some extent.
Urge to put everything in the mouth
A great urge to put everything in their mouth that they can find while moving around in the house. The kid starts to walk on its own and gradually progresses towards climbing, swinging and so on.
Become more involved
They can even do small chores like handing over things to their parents. They are more involved with the surroundings and interact more with others too, though not on a larger scale and especially not with strangers.
Understands words and throws tantrums
The kid starts to understand the meaning of words by now. When the situation demands, it may throw tantrums and be more demanding.
How to handle
Patience is the key
This is the time for patience and understanding the kid. As your baby is still coming to terms with the changing world around it, it will be inquisitive and curious about things. Allow let the child to do whatever he wants or likes to while passing through such development stages of childhood. Never yell or shout for any unjustified demand. Make the child understand that everything can’t be available and politely deny any demand which is not feasible.
Set the limits for the kid
Just set the limits for the kid but don’t make the kid sad by denying something which it wants badly. Just divert the attention and ask it to pick some other item for playing. Rather than denying the thing, give it the choices so that the toddler feels that its wish is granted. Remember, you have to treat him with affection and love as the toddler can’t understand more complicated terms that you use to make it understand.
Address the fears of the baby
For removing the fear of strangers, try to introduce new people to the kid in a phased manner. Do remain with the kid when new people meet your child. Keep your kid in the lap, while new faces come in front of the baby. This will assure the toddler that he is safe and cared for, even though there may be new people nearby. Let the baby slowly go near them on its own, only if it is comfortable for the baby, otherwise don’t force. The fear of the bay will go slowly with age.
Let the kid express itself
At times, the kid will try to completely ignore your directions and won’t listen at all while going through these development stages of childhood. For example, if you ask it to sleep, it will never lie down and insist to play. But, this is completely normal. By this, the kid is giving indications that it is developing its own identity and individuality, other than that of the mother or father. It is actually a healthy sign and sometimes you should allow the baby to break rules, but do set the boundaries too.
Be strict but with caution
Don’t outrightly punish it for anything wrong, it’s insistence for any new toy or your phone. Try to issue a couple of mild warnings and after that, gently remove the thing from the kid without being harsh. A polite way of explaining things will make the baby understand in a better way. You have to acknowledge the feelings of the baby too while responding to the indiscipline. And do cuddle or hug your baby after being a bit harsh as per the baby. Remember, he needs love and care from time to time as these development stages of childhood are the most crucial for him.
Preschool kid (03-05 years)
General Behaviour
Though initially, the kid undergoes a change in behaviour due to the changing circumstances, however, everything settles by itself. The kid has to face some new challenges like coming to terms with books, which the kid has no idea of initially. Also, in some quick time, the kid is meeting new people and kids in preschool. This all leads to a new environment being created around the kid, who has to part with the cosy ambience of the home.
This may make the kid behave in a rude manner, but after spending time with others, the kid gets adjusts to it. The kid is a little confused at this level as it has to undergo changes and exposure to the outside world. Throwing tantrums, stubbornness and anxiety are some of the behavioural traits that the kid may develop that need to be addressed. Remember these development stages of childhood are the building blocks for his personality.
What to expect
A curious kid
Be prepared to answer a lot of questions that the kid will pose from time to time. The kid will be curious and because of being exposed to the outside world through preschools, it will come up with tons of questions.
Problem-solving by the kid
Its mind gets too much information suddenly and it takes time for the little thing to sort them out. The kid will relate to the things around and draw parallels with home, the preschools and everything else, it is being subjected to.
A state of confusion for the kid
It may get confused on many occasions and needs your support and help from time to time. The thought to go away from home to preschool will make the kid somewhat repulsive initially but will cope with your help. Hence, be very cooperative and supportive while handling small kids.
Opening up and socializing
It also is an occasion when it learns about socializing and making friends, The fear of strangers also will diminish to a greater extent. Some of the traits that the kid may develop are fear, anxiety, bullying nature, lying at times and throwing tantrums.
Bully master
The little kid may also become a bully and try to dominate other kids smaller kids, or whomsoever it comes into contact with. The kid also learns discipline at this stage, since he has to move out of home every day for some hours and be in touch with others at preschools.
How to handle
Avoid being rude or tough with the kid
Whatever the fault of the kid, you have to avoid being rude and tough, This will make the kid in its shell and this may dent its self-confidence.
Take the kid’s tantrums in your stride
The kid needs to express himself freely and for that, it will make silly mistakes and throw tantrums at you. At times, your kid may try to bully you and even take your directions for granted also. But, you need to take everything in a light-hearted manner and don’t get worked up for this is the growing phase for your kid.
Teach kid discipline and issue warnings but in a mild way
The kid needs to be taught discipline and even warned of the consequences, whenever such a situation arises. Of course, the warning should not sound unrealistic to the kid which is somewhat difficult to follow.
For example, if the kid insists that he wants to play with your mobile and starts to fiddle with it. It does not mean that you should warn it that if you see your mobile being touched, the kid won’t get food for a week. The reason is that howsoever tough you may sound, it is, after all, an unrealistic condition to fulfil.
The kid observes that the threat is not real and practical when he experiences it too. The kid observes all this when you don’t (rather can’t) follow what you said. It means the kid will start to take your warnings lightly, in the future and may develop a perception that whatever it does, the consequences won’t affect it.
Do whatever you say to the kid but with affection
Issue the kid a real warning but in a polite and soft manner. Just tell the kid that if the mobile is touched, he or she won’t get to play their favourite toy for that day. When the kid won’t listen, just follow what you had said actually apply it. It will send the message home. While being in these development stages of childhood, the kid has to understand and make understand also.
But at the end of any strictness, you will have to initiate talk and show affection as you don’t want the kid to feel alienated. The kid always needs your love and support for the confidence to grow and develop his personality at this stage.
Appreciate any good work
Similarly, do appreciate any good activity of the kid, howsoever small it may seem. The activity can be completing its task, eating without fuss, drinking water on its own, etc. These things do have a deep impact on the personality development of the kid and go a long way in making your kid more confident. So, while handling small kids, do keep in mind that timely praise can do wonders for the kid.
Keep calm composure
Also, you have to keep calm composure and not talk in a rough manner. The kid imbibes these qualities quickly and what better place to learn these things, than from the home itself? Talk to your kid when he or she is back from preschool. Ask about every activity that it does and listen to everything that it tries to say. Being a patient listener will pay its dividends. The kid gets a big relief to ease the anxiety (if any) and feels the support and love that is coming from the parent’s side.
Involve the kid in activities for brain development
You need to play with the kid and involve it in many tasks at home. You need to engage them in brain-developing activities as most of the development takes place at this age only. Also, involve the kid in outdoor games, as the body becomes stronger and the mind healthier. It will also relieve the kid from any anxiety that it has to suffer due to changes in the external environment of the kid. With the parent’s support and love, the kid will pass through this tough stage of life and do wonders in life.
